


I can do it this time

by DamagedSkout



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29525085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DamagedSkout/pseuds/DamagedSkout
Summary: Have you ever wanted to redo things in your life you wish hadn't happened? because i do. That one time you didn't revise for a test and had to redo it because you failed? not even that one time you started a petty argument over something that wasn't that trivial and ended up losing a best friend? What about when your mum asked you your opinion on the new house they want to move into which meant losing contact with your friends and moving schools? Because these are all things in my life I wish wouldn't have happened and that i could've changed.when Erin Goldby is give a once in a lifetime chance to redo things a different way for a chance that her future will be better turns out not to be what she is expecting____________this is my first time writing a story lmao so i hope it's not bad, i'm looking for someone to help edit the story so email me if you're interested in helping then message me :)





	I can do it this time

Have you ever wanted to redo things in your life you wish hadn't happened? because i do. That one time you didn't revise for a test and had to redo it because you failed? not even that one time you started a petty argument over something that wasn't that trivial and ended up losing a best friend? What about when your mum asked you your opinion on the new house they want to move into which meant losing contact with your friends and moving schools? Because these are all things in my life I wish wouldn't have happened. i would revise for all of my tests no matter how important they are, i wouldn't confront my friend and instead bite my tongue, i would tell my mum i don't want to move house or schools. doing these things would probably mean that i wouldn't have developed anxiety and struggled with it through my entire high school experience and so yes, i want to redo everything to make my life better but that's never going to happen. maybe i would be the popular girl who parties and has the perfect boyfriend, maybe i would have the perfect grades and maybe i wouldn't be so scared of the future and doubt my existence.

Honestly i don;t know how to go on from this or how to heal. i don't know where to start and i know i can't get help unless i ask for it myself. Despite all of these emotions and thoughts running through my head, there is one thing I wouldn't change. my family. my two older brothers Cameron and Rhys, my older sister jade, my mum and dad Nina and john.  
me and my brothers have that typical sibling relationship where we absolutely 100% love each other but we don't like to show each other, we are not exactly the closest of siblings but we can count on each other for anything. I don't really have a friend close enough to be a best friend per say but i have one friend who i talk to mainly but i think she considers her other friends her best friend. she's tried to get us to meet but she wanted it to be at her 18th birthday party and sleepover and well meeting new people whilst drunk with an anxiety disorder doesn't sound too appetizing to take on.

My days consist of getting up with like 20 minutes to get ready, walk 20 minutes to school, attend school, go home, nap, eat, shower, sleep. as I've mentioned, i have no friends to meet up with, i complete all work within the study hours provided by my school, i nap because being around people all day overwhelms me and exhausts me at the same time. On the weekends I occasionally see my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. other than that all my free time i just spend reading, reading and reading. i count about at least 3/4 panic attacks a week and even in my sleep, but I've been trying to work on that but nothing seems to be working at the moment but i'm always open for suggestions.

but anyway i'm getting off track. the reason i'm here. or the reason you are here... or whatever is probably to do with the weird thing that happened to me the other day and i don't know how to react, it's something i wanted to happen and yet i crossed it off as impossible seeing as it is well... impossible, until the other day.

i was doing my usual routine of the day except when i was in study i got this sketchy email from and account called Maythepsychic@mangaroo.co.uk and i clicked on it and of course i was interested at it at first because it looked kinda funny but strange and you know i believe in stuff like this and so i made an account believing that i wouldn't get a reply seeing as i hadn’t messaged whomever this May person is and i hadn't asked for a reading or anything. However like 30 minutes later i got another email from the same account just simply saying your dream will come true. I brushed it off believing that it was some phony who likes preying on people like me and was in fact a woman or a man sitting behind their screen with 50 cats and a 99p glass globe that they believe tells them the future. so i didn't think anything of it and deleted the email.

I walked home with my headphones shuffling the same 10 songs on repeat, crossed at the lights and unlocked my keys, said hello to my dogs Rhubarb and Custard and said hello to my cat Angelo. I proceeded to go upstairs and get into bed and then I read my latest novel and then let myself slip into my nap preparing to be awakened by my mother for tea whenever it was ready. however this didn't happen. Not even close to what i expected.

All I remember is waking up and not knowing where I was. my eyes were cloudy and unfocused but then they focused on the walls that were bright purple and pink with a giant Bratz doll sticker in the center and a tiny pink single bed. the exact copy of my childhood bedroom from when i was 14 just before i moved house. disorientated, i scrambled from my bed and smacked my head to try and wake up from the dream and it didn’t work. I have 10 fingers and toes and I could read the sign hanging on the door with my name written in big pink cursive writing, Erin. And that;s how I knew I wasn't dreaming. I stumbled around the room looking for answers until I came across my reflection in the mirror and I screamed. i'm 14 again. 

The next thing I knew my oldest brother Cameron came running in looking like his younger 20 year old self.  
‘Why are you screaming, you idiot? You know dad is still in bed because he hasn’t got work today’ he tells me. 

‘I don’t know, I woke up and i was 14 again!’ I shouted at him. He held his hands up with an annoyed face.

‘What? you mean like every other day for the past 6 months?’ he joked and stormed out the room slamming my door shut. Okay so that puts us at about April seeing as my birthday is in October, the day before Halloween to be specific. 

I get downstairs and see my other brother, who is also 4 years younger than when I last saw him, eating his cereal on the floor in front of the TV. My mum is in the kitchen making some tea and she turned around. ‘Ah you are finally awake then I see? I thought you were never going to wake up, you slept through your alarm. Was it a good dream?’ she asks. Oh you have no idea.

‘I think i just stayed up on my uh… my umm… my NINTENDO DS!!’ I quickly stuttered. I couldn’t say phone because i got my first one on my 15th birthday which in this timeline had not happened yet and it was a purple blackberry phone.

‘Oh well good thing you’re up now, so go get ready for school and then i’ll see you after school has finished, it’s chips, beans and fish fingers again if you don’t mind’ she said as she kissed me on the head and then headed out the front door to go to work. Well I guess i have to go back to school. Already Knowing everything that I will learn today because you know, I somehow traveled back in time and now I don't know how to get back. I brush my hair and then get into my uniform, something I totally have not missed since starting college and then I grabbed my lunch and locked the front door and then I walked to school.

When I stood outside the school gate, I froze. How could I go through this again? I wanted this but now that it is actually happening i’m not too sure, but i have to make do with what i have and that’s by making the decisions i wish i had made. Because I have a do over. And how many people get a chance like this? It’s once in a lifetime and I was chosen for some strange unknowing reason and I can do this. I took a step into the school grounds and released a massive sigh, ‘you can do this’ i whispered to myself


End file.
